Going Out With a Bangkok
I flew yesterday to Bangkok. For some reason it took six hours between leaving one hotel and arriving at a new one, despite the fact that it's only a one hour flight.
Bangkok is a rather large city. I shared a taxi with a French woman into the city centre and, when we got out, she said she thought the Khao San Road was nearby. I ambled for a while through a very busy food market, since it was right there and smelled good, but I had all my luggage with me so hailed a taxi after a short time. When I eventually arrived at the Khao San Road, we had driven 16km. Either the driver was taking me for a ride, both literally and figuratively, or the city is simply bigger than it looks on a map.
Not that I have a map. For the first time on this journey, I am without a Lonely Planet. God I miss that book.
Since it was late, there weren't that many places with room left, and certainly none at a price I wanted to pay. Then I decided that I was coming home under-budget, so I could treat myself for my last two nights. Then I found a really cheap room, so took that instead.
I'm staying on the Khao San Road. It's noisy, but I can sleep through anything and I'm only here for two nights, so wanted to be where the action is. And it is active. The picture below is a taster. There are loads of farang getting wasted and loads of tuk-tuk drivers offering to take them to various sordid establishments. I walked up and down a few times taking it all in but went to bed early.
This morning I hired a tuk-tuk to take me around the city's sights. I then went and got a massage. Now, when he offered to take me to a massage parlour, I mentioned that I didn't want any "boom-boom". This is an accepted international term for sexual dalliance. The Indians prefer to say "hank-panky", probably due to their colonial heritage, but "boom-boom" is universally understood.
So we ended up at a brothel. I had never been in a whore-house before, but this was unmistakable.
Toby: "I said no boom-boom."
Tuk-tuk driver: "You no wan' boom-boom?"
Toby: "No. No boom-boom."
Tuk-tuk driver: "I thought you like boom-boom."
Toby: "I do. I like boom-boom. Just not now."
Tuk-tuk driver: "Ah, because you have girlfren?"
Toby: "No, because they're prostitutes." [confused look from driver] "I just wanted a massage."
Proprietor: "Yes, you get massage, 2500 baht [about 50 euro]"
Toby: "Eh, yeah, OK, it's because I have a girlfriend, if that means we can leave."
Well, that was awkward. I got my massage eventually. 300 baht for one hour and it was provided by a fat middle-aged woman. Thank God.
I next went to the city palace, got a personal guided tour around there (since I have no guide book and am feeling flush, having acidentally taken out too much from the ATM, because I failed to work out beforehand how much Baht I needed) and then walked back to my hotel to hide from the rainclouds overhead.
The plan for tonight is probably to generate enough of a hangover for tomorrow that I'm still feeling lousy by the time I board my plane to Kuala Lumpur at 17.10. I like feeling crap on planes. It gives me something to do. And if that's not true, then why do I keep doing it?
posted by Toby at 16:42
34 Comments:
And if they weren't prostitutes...you'd've gone for some boom boom?
Your are Excellent. And so is your site! Keep up the good work. Bookmarked.
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